


Remember Me

by Lovethistoomuch



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Love, M/M, Memory Loss, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 09:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19461154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch
Summary: “I already asked Merlin about it a second ago”, Harry explained: “It is a ring that was found in my pocket. Only, I don't know what it means. They told me, it was a wedding ring but there are no names inscribed, only those two pseudonyms: 'The Knight'”.“That's you!”, Eggsy interrupted, exited that he could help.“And The Wizard”.Eggsy's face dropped. “That's Merlin!”Set during the course of the second movie. Everything is more or less the same only that Harry and Merlin had been married and now Harry can't remember any of it. Slight bit of drama but moslty romance with a happy ending (Merlin survives).





	Remember Me

Harry was almost finished with packing his stuff, when Merlin came in and sat down on his bed. He had made sure that there was no person in the other room watching them, even though Harry was probably monitored 24 hours a day via cameras. But Merlin felt better nonetheless, knowing that the only pair of eyes on him now belonged to his friend.

“Ye're ready to leave?”, he asked in a neutral tone as he observed Harry's attempts to fit all his toiletries into a little wash bag. He looked so childlike in all his motions, getting frustrated when the toothpaste wouldn't stay in completely. With one last firm push, the thing vanished and he closed the bag rapidly to prevent it form getting out again. After a quick glance across the room, he threw the bag down carelessly and turned around.

“I suppose so”, he answered, his gaze gliding over the paintings on the walls. “What a shame, I can't take them with me...”, he added more to himself. Merlin followed the movement of Harry's eyes around the room. He knew that this was an important moment, even if the other man was not aware of it. It was a moment for Merlin to decide.

“What are ya going to do now?”, he wanted to know, his voice still matter of factly.

Harry shot him a quick look, before he stretched out his hand and traced the outlines of a blue butterfly with his fingertips. When he spoke, he sounded hopeful, enthusiastic, totally different from his old self. “I want to be a lepidopterist”, he said: “There is nothing that makes me happier than these butterflies! I want to study them, learn everything about them!” He smiled, a beautiful, dreamy smile and Merlin's heart became heavy. This was it. It was decided!

Suddenly, Harry's face became thoughtful. He reached into his pocket and walked towards Merlin. “There is one thing, though”, he said slowly: “That I could not figure out. That I thought you could help me with, before I leave...” He produced something from out of his pocket and placed it on the palm of his left hand. If Merlin flinched at all, Harry didn't notice. “They said that when they found me, there was this ring in the inner pocket of my suit”, he continued: “And I don't quite know what to make of it. It looks like a wedding ring but there are no names on it.” He picked it up and held it into the light to read the little engraving. “'The Knight And The Wizard' do you know what that means?”

He turned to Merlin, who was completely frozen, not showing any emotions whatsoever. “They say you were one of my best friends before the accident”, Harry continued: “Surely, if I was married, you would know?” His voice was curious but also a little doubtful as though he did think that if Merlin could not answer him, he may not have been his friend after all.

Merlin did not answer. His eyes were fixed on the ring, his face still an emotionless mask. When he finally responded, he didn't look at Harry “I do not know. I'm sorry.” In the next moment he was up to his feet. “I'm getting ya a cab”, he said while still not looking at the other man.

Puzzled by this abruptness, Harry had jumped to his feet also. “Did I do something wrong?”, he asked bewildered, the look on his face a little helpless.

Merlin forced himself to turn around and meet his friend's eyes. “Ya didn't”, he said reassuring and for a moment it seemed as if he wanted to say something else but then stopped himself and left.

“Merlin!”, Harry shouted but the door was already shut.

On his way outside, Merlin bumped into Eggsy who was on his way in the opposite direction. The young agent only had a split second to jump out of his way to avoid a full collision but still Merlin's elbow brushed him uncomfortably. “Oi! Merlin! Whatsthamatter!”, he cried in an irritated voice. Merlin did not even look at him. “Something wrong?”, Eggsy shouted but the other agent simply stormed off around the corner.

Eggsy shook his head. This crazy old man! He doubted that he would ever fully understand him... With a quick turn around, he started towards Harry's room again and opened the door with an energetic swing. “What's tha matter with 'im?”, he asked and pointed towards the corridor behind him. “Sorry”, he added when he saw that his entrance had startled the other agent.

“I don't know!”, Harry responded and let himself fall back down on the bed: “Maybe it was something I said...”

The ring was still in his hand, and Eggsy, who had noticed it, hopped on the bed as well. “What's that?”, he enquired while already hovering over it, to get a better look. Harry didn't seem to mind the closeness, as he simply held the ring up, for Eggsy to see better.

“I already asked Merlin about it a second ago”, he explained: “It is a ring that was found in my pocket. Only, I don't know what it means. They told me, it was a wedding ring but there are no names inscribed, only those two pseudonyms: 'The Knight'”

“That's you!”, Eggsy interrupted, exited that he could help: “Your codename 's Galahad, who's a knight in the Arthurian council!”

Harry raised his eyebrows in astonishment. Then he continued: 'And The Wizard'"

Eggsy's face dropped. “That's Merlin!”

They both stared at each other with equally unbelieving, shocked expressions. Eggsy was the first who found his voice again. “You're married to Merlin!”, he screamed, eyes open wide: “Holy fuck!” His mouth wouldn't close as he grabbed the ring from Harry's hand and held it into the light, to see it with his own eyes: “Holy fuck!” Suddenly he was all smiles. When he spoke again, his voice sounded triumphant: “I knew it!” He pointed at Harry: “I knew it! The way you always looked at each other!”

Harry shook his head. “You're wrong”, he stated and indeed sounded a bit disappointed: “When I asked Merlin about it, he didn't know what it meant...”

They were both silent for a while, as Harry took the ring from Eggsy and put it on his left ring finger where it fit perfectly. Eggsy shot him a hopeful look but Harry simply shook his head, pulled the ring off again and let it slide into the pocket of his trousers. “It's not him”, he said very quietly.

It was the saddest expression, Eggsy had seen on him since he had come back from the dead and it suddenly struck him that deep down in his heart, Harry must still love Merlin, remembering him or not.

“Maybe he had reasons to lie”, Eggsy tried: “Maybe he didn't tell the truth. He's very stubborn. A pain in the ass, really, when it comes to showing emotions... 'course, apart from anger”, he added, rubbing his elbow. Suddenly Harry seemed hopeful again. It was astonishing how all his feelings were readable in his face now, as if he not yet knew how to contain them. “I think you should ask him about it!”, Eggsy offered and in the next moment Harry was up to his feet.

“You know what? I think I will”, he said, determined.

* * *

Harry was not supposed to be wandering around and about in the building but he figured he didn't care. After all, what were they going to do to him? Nevertheless, he was careful not to bump into anyone while searching. Finally he arrived at the room which Merlin had been given during his stay. Not that he knew where it was, but it had Merlin's name on it in big, silver letters.

Feeling a little reckless, Harry entered without knocking, which almost caused the occupant to fall over in shock. He was sitting on a chair, hunched over far, face in hand and when he heard the sound of the opening door, he almost propelled himself to the floor, trying to stand up.

“Harry!”, he exclaimed, totally flabbergasted: “I was just...”

“Crying”, the other man interrupted him in a matter of fact tone.

Merlin looked at the floor. His eyes and nose were quite red and there were two wet lines across his face. His right hand went up and rubbed against his eyes and then further down until the lines were gone. “Yeah...”, he mumbled in a rough voice.

“Why did you not tell me that we're married?”, Harry asked, looking at him intently. Merlin's eyes shot up. “I talked to Eggy”, he explained before Merlin could ask the question and a little flash of pain went over his face as the name of their friend was mispronounced: “He didn't know about it as well”, Harry continued: “Had quite the reaction actually.”

When Harry smiled, a little smile appeared on Merlin's face for a split second. “I can imagine”, he retorted: “Nobody knew...”

“But why did you not tell me when I asked?”, repeated Harry.

It was quiet for a moment. Merlin looked around the room and then decided to sit down on the bed. When he did not speak but simply waited, eyes fixed to the ground, Harry sat down beside him. He suddenly had the urge to lay an arm around the other man but remembering what Eggsy had said, he resisted. After a while, Merlin started slowly to explain: “Ya were just so happy” His voice still sounded rough: “I hadn't seen ya so happy for a long time! When we started this, we both knew that it wouldn't end well, either with you in a coffin or me, or both of us... and now... now ya were finally out of it...”, suddenly his voice broke off. He rubbed at his eyes again: “Ya finally can get away from all this shooting and murder and dangerous missions... Ya can live in peace, a normal life! I saw you die once, ya know... I don't think, I can do it again” Merlin stopped talking. With a quick motion, he pulled out a handkerchief and ran it across his face then he blew his nose into it. “Sorry...”, he muttered, still looking on the ground.

Harry was completely baffled. There he sat, right next to him, this tall, strong man who had always appeared to be so in control, professional and distant, and he was crying because of him.

“You really love me!” It was a statement from Harry but he knew it was true.

Merlin lifted his gaze. “Married ya, didn't I?”, he answered with a little grin. His eyes were still red but the tears also gave them a certain glamour.

Harry returned the smile straight away. “Tell me about it”, he requested.

Merlin ran his hand over his face again and cleared his throat, pulling himself together a bit. “We got married in June, in Scotland”, he began reminiscing. This time he looked directly at Harry: “Rain was pouring. My two brothers were our best men. Your parents didn't come but mine were there. They had loved ya from day one. You were wearing a blue suit, very handsome...I have a picture, actually.” He stood up abruptly and went over to where his jacket was hanging. After reaching into a specific pocket, he pulled out a brown leather wallet from which he took a folded piece of paper. It had obviously been in his possession for a long time as the fold was really sharp but apart from that it was in very good condition. As he sat down again, he handed it to Harry. “Here!”

Harry took it and carefully unfolded it, holding the glossy paper between the tips of his fingers. On the left half of the picture he saw himself. As he was looking directly into the camera, he truly appeared to be having the best day of his entire life. He was grinning from ear to ear and there was a certain sparkle in his eyes that conveyed happiness of the purest kind.

Next to him, on the right side of the fold, with his arm draped around him, stood Merlin. He was not looking at the camera but at Harry. He was looking at Harry as if he was the purest, most wonderful being on the entire planet, awestruck and totally 100% in love. They were both very young.

Mesmerized by the picture, Harry stared at it for a while. Then he looked at Merlin. “You had hair back then”, he observed with a smile.

“I did”, Merlin agreed.

There was another silence as Harry shifted his gaze back to the photography. He still could not really grasp the thought that this was supposed to be him. “How long have we been married?”, he asked with a hint of doubtfulness.

Merlin leaned over to look at the picture as well. “26 years”, he answered. Harry did not know what to say. It was all so much.

They sat in silence for a bit, while Harry tried to process it all. His eyes were fixed on himself and on Merlin's expression. It somehow hurt him to see them both like this, when he could not remember. He could not remember any of it! Suddenly, he felt like crying as well.

“Tell me about myself”, he requested quietly.

Merlin looked a bit puzzled. “What do ya want to know?”, he asked but Harry simply shrugged.

“Everything you can think of”, he stated: “What am I like, normally?”

Merlin thought for a moment, studying Harry carefully. When he spoke he sounded a bit unsure. “Ya are charming and charismatic”, he started slowly: “Ya get along well with people and have a natural talent fer blending in. Ya are terribly organized and disorganized at the same time. Our house sometimes looks like it's been hit by a bomb but ya never miss an appointment. Ya're spontaneous and reckless and a whole lot of other things that I'm not”, he smiled and his voice sounded a bit surer when he continued: “You snore and ya can't cook for shit, but you always sing while burning everything. Ya also sing along to my old, classical records, nonsense, mostly...” Merlin stopped and looked on the ground. Suddenly he rubbed at his eyes again.

“What about you?”, Harry wanted to know: “Tell me more about you!”

A laugh escaped Merlin's lips. It was deep, like a growl and you could still here that his nose was a little bit blocked. “I'm the boring one”, he said, shooting a glance at Harry, who immediately asked: “Who claims that?”

“Everyone!”, Merlin answered: “Everyone ya ask...”

He cleared his throat and continued a little more seriously: “I'm the tech guy, I sit in front of a computer the 'ole day. I'm not much of a talker and very organized. I collect classical records on vinyl and history books. I get annoyed very easily and snap at people. I never mean it, though... I can cook pretty decently and I also knit sometimes. Knitted you a scarf once an ya've been teasing me endlessly for it. Still wore it in the end, though...”

When it was clear that Merlin had stopped talking, Harry observed: “Does not sound that boring to me.”

“And thank God for that!”, Merlin exclaimed. They smiled at each other.

“You know that we can still be together, when I'm a lepidopterist, right?”, Harry asked: “If we've really been married for 26 years, we should get along very well...” He had thought about his words but they still sounded unsure.

Merlin inspected his face before he answered. “Yeah, maybe...”, he said very carefully: “I don't want te push ya into anything. Ya still don't know me after all... I mean, I don't want te pressure ya.” There was a sadness in his eyes that made Harry's heart sink. He could not imagine how Merlin must fell right now!

Suddenly it was all too much! “I'm so sorry!”, Harry stammered, tears swelling in his eyes: “Even if I could not remember anything else, I wish I could remember you! I want to remember you! But I can't! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry... I'm sorry...” His whole body was shaking now and he covered his face with his right hand. “I'm sorry, Merlin!”, he went on, his voice heavy with tears. The next thing he new was that Merlin had grabbed him and pulled his head towards his chest. His grip was very strong and Harry felt, that it became almost impossible for him to sob now, as his body could not move any more. He could hear the beating of Merlin's heart, and the rhythm of air, entering his lounges, and exiting again. Merlin's left hand was lying on his head, gripping it tightly, as he rested his chin on Harry's hair.

Relaxing into the embrace, Harry closed his eyes and started breathing normally. When he was sure that he could speak again without his voice breaking, Harry suggested that Merlin should add being a great hugger to the list of his perks. He was rewarded with another deep laugh from Merlin that he could feel, resonating in his own body. In the next moment, he was squeezed very tightly, before Merlin released him.

Wordlessly, Merlin handed him a new handkerchief that he had fetched from his bedside drawer and Harry cleaned his face with it. “Come on”, Merlin said: “We should get ya back to yer room, before they all go crazy with where ya've been.” Harry nodded but Merlin did not stand up. He waited until Harry was ready.

When they exited the room, madness seemed to have already ensued. Emergency lights were flickering and they could hear hurried footsteps in the corridor. Merlin seemed a bit puzzled, as he raised his head to look at the ceiling, where the red light was flashing “Why 's there no alarm mechanism in my room?”, he asked: “I'm pretty sure, I'd be the first person ta call in case of emergency!” Harry smiled at his offended tone.

In the next instant, agent Tequila rushed around the corner, colt in hand. As he saw Harry, he froze and aimed the weapon at him. Just at the same moment, Merlin raised his hands. “Hey! Easy cowboy!”, he shouted: “I've got him, no reason ta get panicky!”

Agent Tequila frowned and put his colt away. “What ye doin outside your room?!”, he shouted: “Don' scare us like tha'!”

“Sorry!”, Harry said but he did not sound sorry at all, rather a bit smug and Merlin grinned. He put his hand on Harry's back as they escorted him back to his room.

* * *

Eggsy made sure that Merlin was alone in the control room when he entered. The older agent shot him a quick glance. He seemed tired and frustrated but Eggsy let a big smile flash across his face. “Heyja, Merlin!”, he said, jumping in the second chair next to him with such energy that it started rolling towards the other man. Before a collision could occur, he put his feet firmly on the ground, stopping the motion.

Merlin didn't say anything, he didn't even flinch. He just fixed the boy with his piercing gaze. But that didn't seem to intimidate Eggsy, as his complacent smile remained intact. “So, why 'aven't you told me tha' you and Harry are married?”, he asked, leaning towards Merlin a bit, as if they were in a room with other people who were not supposed to hear.

Merlin did not play along. He simply continued doing whatever on his keyboard while looking on the computer screens. “Because”, he said after a while, still facing ahead: “It's non of yer business.” For a while the only noise in the room was Merlin's fingers typing. But just when Eggsy wanted to speak again, Merlin continued. “And 'cause none of the other agents knew, not even Arthur. We got married under my real name. Nobody knows it, 'xcept Harry.”

Eggsy raised his eyebrows. “Now tha' can't be right!”, he exclaimed: “Your name's s'posed to be in the files!”

Suddenly, a sly grin appeared on Merlin's face. “And who looks after the files?”, he asked.

“No!”, Eggsy's mouth opened: “Don' tell me, you've altered your file? After all those bloated speeches you always make about integrity and such?”

Merlin shot him a sharp look. “'Course i've not altered it!”, he snapped back: “But just that yer know, I'm the only person who reads those darn things!” Suddenly, Eggsy tried to remember what questions he'd been asked during the selection process. “And isn't that also tha point of these cover names: That yer not supposed to know the real ones?”, Merlin went on. He sounded a bit annoyed now and Eggsy had a sneaking suspicion.

“Then why did Harry tell me 'is real name straight away?”, he asked in an innocent tone. Again, he got a sharp look.

“'Cause he's Harry”, Merlin simply stated: “He never plays by the rules!”

“Right!”, Eggsy grinned, while making the little hand pistol movement and he could practically feel the annoyance, radiating from the man in front of him: “So, getting back to the topic...” He sat up a bit in his chair: “You know, telling me that you're married could 'ave made things a lot easier, don't ya?”, he asked.

Merlin looked puzzled. “How?”, was all he said.

“Well...”, Eggsy was a bit unsure of the next part. He hoped that Merlin liked him enough, not to rip his head off immediately but you never knew...

“As we've been trying to get 'is memory back, you could 'ave given some input...”, he started: “You could 'ave, you know suggested things or... you know... done something.”

Eggsy waved his arms a bit and hoped that Merlin would understand without him going on further but the other agent seemed to have a very thick head today. “Can ya get to tha point, before ya fall out of yer chair?”, he asked impatiently.

“Alright then”, Eggsy thought and pushed himself away a bit so that he was closer to the door. Realising this, Merlin abandoned the computer and turned so that he was facing the young agent completely, his eyes narrowing. Eggsy decided that this was not really an improvement. He smiled , pretending to be relaxed, while at the same time getting ready to bolt immediately. “You could 'ave snogged 'im a little, gave 'im a little smooch”, Eggsy suggested.

Merin's face seemed to go through a series of emotions, shock, disbelief, anger, before literally turning into stone. Eggsy grabbed the armrest of his chair a little tighter, to be able to get up immediately. For a moment, they simply stared at each other, unblinking. Either Merlin was thinking, or the remark had broken a circuit in his head.

When he finally spoke, his voice was very calm and precise. “I have promised Harry not ta push him into anything”, he explained: “It must be incredibly difficult fer him. I'm not gonna pressure him into doing anything, he doesn't want to do.“ He sounded very serious. In this light his eyes were almost black and Eggsy had to force himself not to break away from his intense stare.

“You could at least suggest it”, he answered: “Harry has as much say in this as you!” Merlin's shook his head but the young agent continued. “You should have seen 'im, when 'e thought, you weren't married!” he argued: “When I told 'im that you were the wizard on his ring an' he didn't believe me. He said you would 'ave told 'im. He was devastated!”

Eggsy was shouting now because he was so frustrated but Merlin's expression didn't change. When he leaned forward, Eggsy had to look away. But only, when he met his gaze again, Merlin answered. “It's not that easy!”, he stated: “I wish it were but it's not!”

Eggsy could not believe it! Why was the other man being so stubborn? Why did he not let anybody help him? It was hard for him to stay in his seat. “Except, maybe it is!”, he shouted: “Maybe it is that fucking easy and you're just being a fucking dipshit!” Suddenly he couldn't help it. Eggsy jumped out of his chair. “I'm gonna tell Harry!”, he claimed and started towards the door.

Before he could even make another step, his right arm was in the most iron grip he'd ever felt. His body twitched instinctively away but he could not even have the hope of getting free. In the next moment, Merlin was standing in front of him, blocking the way, his grip still not relaxing and with the highest level of under control rage, he had yet seen on his face.

“Yer not gonna say a word to Harry!”, he ordered in a low growl: “Yer not gonna suggest anything to him, concerning me or a kiss or any of that matter! This is my life ya are meddling with. My _entire_ life! Do ya understand? I will not put anything in jeopardy just because of yer impatience! He doesn't know me and I will not overwhelm him or ask to much of him and drive him into a corner, where he either feels helpless or option-less or worthless or under pressure to behave in a way that we expect but he doesn't want to!” When Merlin stopped, his body did not relax. He held onto the young agent as intensely as before, waiting for an answer.

Eggsy felt numb. His arm hurt and he had a feeling, that his eyes hurt too from the intensity of Merlin's stare. The wizard's face was very close and he could feel his breath during parts of his speech. He didn't know what to say. “Jeez, Merlin!”, he suddenly burst out: “Alright, I won' tell!”

In the next moment, his arm was released and he felt a little tingle as the blood rushed back into it. “Fucking 'ell”, he went on, rubbing his arm: “You're fucking intense, you know tha'?” Merlin didn't respond. With one quick glance, he looked the boy over as if to see if he hadn't damaged him more than he intended. But Eggsy wasn't done. “'tis not easy for me as well you know?”, he went on: “This 'ole situation! I miss Harry every bit as much as you do!” Merlin shot him a look and Eggsy flinched a little. “Well, maybe no' as much, but still!”

Suddenly the older agent looked sad. “This is not a competition, Eggsy”, he said: “There's no winner here. We both loose.” They stood in silence for a second, before Merlin went back to his chair. He didn't look at the boy.

Eggsy couldn't move. He felt totally empty. Did he push it to far? With Harry not even knowing who he was, he couldn't bare the thought of loosing Merlin as a friend as well. His eyes filled up with tears and he tried to blink them away, before the other man could see.

“So...”, he said, feeling glad that his voice still sounded normal: “Would you mind telling me, what your real name is, then, your birth-name?”

Merlin's eyes shot up. As he answered it was without hesitation. “It's Hamish”, he said with a little smile as if he too was glad that they were reaffirming each other of their friendship.

Instantaneously, Eggsy smiled as well and in that moment all his worries fell off of him. “Very Scottish”, he remarked.

“Yea...”, came Merlin's answer, his gaze not intense but rather a bit amused, as his body relaxed into the chair now.

“But a very good name!”, Eggsy went on: “You're a good husband as well! Harry is a very lucky man!”

At these compliments, Merlin let out a little laugh. “It's all right, boy, I'm not gonna murder ya in yer sleep!”, he exclaimed: “So ya can stop blowing smoke up my arse!”

Eggsy chuckled but suddenly Merlin became serious again.”I'm sorry by the way”, he said: “Just so ya know. I sometimes go overboard a bit, I can't help it...”

He looked very uncomfortable admitting this, which warmed Eggsy's heart. “Yeah, whatever!”, he replied: “I was a bit of a prick as well.”

* * *

Eggsy's plan had worked! The memories came rushing back to Harry in rocket speed. All his life, his work, the missions, getting shot by Valentine, it was all there within the time of a split second. It was as if another bullet had hit him. For a moment he could do nothing more than to just stare blankly into the distance. Then his eyes were caught by a familiar face. “Eggsy!”, he said, pronouncing his name right for the first time since his injury.

The look on the boy's face was indescribable. It was a mixture of happiness, relieve and the sudden realisation that someone had come back to him whom he had deemed lost for a long time. “Harry!”, he answered with a smile. Without saying another word, he went across the room and very slowly and cautiously pulled Harry into a hug. It was as if he was not quite sure if Harry would appreciate it but at the same time had a sincerity and love in it that was very genuine. Moved by this gentle gesture from the normally so over the top young man, Harry wrapped his arms around him as well.

Then, suddenly, a sense of urgency overtook him. He grabbed Eggsy by the shoulders and pulled him away from him. “We have to stop Valentine!”, he exclaimed: “He has a device! He's going to use it...”

But Eggsy quickly interrupted him. “Don' worry!”, he cried, still smiling and grabbing Harry's arms to get his attention: “It's all been taken care of! Merlin and I stopped him! There's a lo' of catching up, we have to do!”

Merlin. The name shot through Harry's head. And sure enough there he was, peeking in through the door. His beautiful, sweet Merlin, who had been willing to let him go, just so that he could have a life away from danger. Who, after almost 30 years still loved him as much as he had on day one. His big brown eyes were full of happiness, so much so that Harry was reminded of their wedding picture.

“I s'pose, I call off the cab now?”, the man asked with a bright smile. Eggsy shot a look at Harry, then at Merlin. Suddenly, he looked very smug but Harry didn't care. He let go of his protégé and in a few big steps, he had crossed the room and pulled Merlin into a tight hug. Merlin immediately put his arms around him as well, pulling him very close. For a moment they stood as if they had been set in stone, simply holding on to each other. Agent Ginger Ale and Whisky appeared in the hallway as well, peering into the room but the two men didn't seem to mind.

Then Harry let go a bit, pulling his head back and kissed Merlin very gently on the mouth. If it was at all possible, Eggsy's face lit up even more. Agent Whisky raised his eyebrows in astonishment and shared a little look with agent Ginger who was smiling as well but also looked as if she had been expecting this.

“I've missed ya”, Merlin said very quietly but the room was completely silent so that probably everybody heard.

There was a short pause, as they all seemed to contemplate, how to react to this but then agent Whisky took it upon himself to lift the tension. “Is this how all Kingsman agents great each other?”, he asked in a mockingly curious tone.

Eggsy laughed and Ginger shook her head disapprovingly, while still smiling. Merlin turned around, but his right hand remained on Harry's back. “Only when ya married to them”, he retorted in a voice that was supposed to be sharp. His smile betrayed him though, and he sounded far to happy.

“Come on then”, Eggsy said while clapping his hands together: “Let's fill Harry in on everything that's happened after he got his 'ead shot in.”

At this proposition, Harry turned around and looked at him. “That is an excellent idea!”, he said, starting towards the door. As soon as he was out of the way and Merlin's and Eggsy's eyes met, the young agent used the opportunity to quickly wink at the wizard. Merlin shook his head but still smiled, as he followed his husband out the door.

* * *

“Move, go!”, he waved Eggsy away. This moment, his last moment with Merlin, he wanted it for himself. But the young agent didn't move. He just stared in shock. And suddenly Harry realised he didn't care if he left at all. He didn't care, it wasn't important!

He stepped towards Merlin who's foot was still on the mine. Their eyes met. He didn't dare to touch him, alter his position, blow them both up. “I love you!”, he said very clearly, from the bottom of his heart, for the last time.

Merlin smiled a bit. His voice was a little deeper than usual when he said: “I love ya too!”

The gaze was not broken, when Merlin slowly reached into an inside pocket of his suit and got from it his own wedding ring. Even before he had made the motion towards him, Harry understood. “I don't want this ta get lost in the jungle here somewhere”, Merlin said in the same tone: “Please take it and remember me by it, yeah?”

Suddenly, tears rushed into Harry's eyes. “I don't need a stupid ring to remember you, you bloody fool!”, he burst out but he took it nonetheless and in one swift motion it was sitting on his left index finger. Trough some miracle it fit perfectly. He made another step forward, glancing towards the mine and then he grabbed Merlin and kissed him very carefully.

It was a good thing that they were both exactly the same height, so that neither of them had to move very much. Harry could feel Merlin's hesitance to shift his weight even slightly and he himself tried his best to only move his mouth and touch him as little as possible. It was a very hesitant, sweet kiss. One of those kisses where you not jet feel the heat and passion but rather relish the feeling of being close and in love and in this case careful not to explode.

When they broke apart, Harry kept his eyes closed, to get as much sensual data as he could to remember forever. Merlin's breath, his smell, the feeling of his forehead against his.

“Ya have to go now”, Merlin's voice said calmly. Harry opened his eyes and looked into those dark, brown ones. In this light they had a shimmer of green. “There are a lot of people counting on ya”, Merlin added and Harry stepped away, before he did something stupid like trying to push Merlin away and exploding them both.

There was still so much to say, so much Harry would have liked to tell him. But when he saw the look on Merlin's face, he realised that they didn't have to enunciate what they both already knew. He could not bring himself to say 'good bye' or 'thank you' because, how could he thank his husband for killing himself? If he were only half the smart-ass as Merlin, he would have done the same thing! It would have been him on the trigger and not the love of his life!

With one last nod, Harry turned around and walked towards the base to save the world. At least the world of the other people, leaving his own one behind.

* * *

Poppy was dead and the antidote was being transmitted throughout the world. They had done it, it was over and while Eggsy immediately took out his phone to reach Tildy's parents, making sure that she had gotten the cure in time, Harry had only one thought. “Merlin!”, he said. Eggsy turned around while the realisation rushed to his head. “Shit!”, he cried. In the next moment, Harry was out of the door, Eggsy on his heels.

It was terrible. Blood was everywhere and little pieces of flesh were hanging in the trees and bushes. Eggsy didn't want to see it but he knew that Harry had to. There was no telling which parts belonged to their friend and which to the henchmen he had taken with him in the explosion. In the ground was a big, black crater.

Harry walked around frantically, with a still shocked expression, looking everywhere, searching but Eggsy couldn't move. He felt sick and the fact that this was originally supposed to be him didn't help either. It was as if his head was swimming in a big tank of water, where the pressure pushed at it from all sides. He couldn't think and he couldn't hear, even his vision seemed to be blurry. But then one word got him out of it, one scream from Harry that made him rush forward. “Merlin!”

Eggsy jumped to Harry's side and there he was. Paler than he had ever seen him, covered in blood. His left leg was torn off completely, the right one was shredded and you could see a white flash of bone, where his knee was supposed to be. “Oh, shit!”, Eggsy whispered: “Oh, shit, oh shit, oh shit!”

Harry had already gotten on his knees and had tilted Merlin's head back so that he would not choke on his own tongue. Now he was feeling the pulse at his neck. After a split second, he pushed a button on his watch to contact the Statesman. When he spoke, he sounded very precise: “Man down. I need a helicopter, now!”

He felt Merlin's pulse again, as if to make sure, when he received the answer. “On our way!” It was Agent Ginger's voice. She didn't ask who was injured. But then again, she already knew due to the recordings on the glasses. Maybe they had even send someone before Harry had requested it.

Eggsy watched as the other agent checked Merlin's legs only to find that the bleeding was already slowed down, as Merlin had used his belt on his left leg and his tie on the right to bind off the arteries. With a strong pull on each item, Harry secured them even further, before raising the remnants of both legs so that the remaining blood would flow back to Merlin's heart and head. Then he took the time on his watch and memorised it.

After all of this was done, he let himself fall down next to Merlin's head with an exhausted expression. His emergency measures were executed with precision and routine but now there was nothing more he could do. Harry raised his left hand and, realising that it was full of blood, rubbed it clean on his suit before he placed it very gently on Merlin's forehead. Suddenly, he began to sob.

Tears were streaming down his face while the fingers of his left hand kept stroking Merlin's features. He tried getting the handkerchief out of his pocket but as his right hand was still full of blood, it became useless, after he had touched it and he threw it away in a fit of anger and disgust. Afterwards his sobbing intensified.

Carefully, Eggsy took out his own handkerchief, unfolded it and made a few steps towards Harry so that he could hand it to him. Harry took it without raising his gaze or saying a word and immediately covered his face with it. Muffled through the fabric, his sobbing became a bit quieter but you could still see the movement in his body. Eggsy stood there for a moment and didn't know what he should do. What were you supposed to say in a situation like this? Nothing, he decided.

Giving himself a bit of a jolt, he made another step and sat down next to Harry, wrapping his arm around him. When he felt no resistance, he tightened his grip and pulled Harry towards him a bit, resting his own head on his shoulder.

It was in this exact position that the Statesman Agents found them, when they arrived a few moments later. Eggsy could feel Harry tense up again and he let go of his friend so that he could stand up. With one last wipe at his face the tears were gone. “He was hit by a landmine. Both his legs are gone”, Harry reported, again in his emergency voice: “The blood flow in his legs was stopped 15 to 20 minutes ago. 10 minutes ago, his pulse was at 120.”

They were hurling Merlin on a stretcher and into the helicopter. When sitting down next to him, Harry took hold of his hand. After quick consideration, Eggsy grasped Harry's other, free hand and immediately felt the fingers squeezing back. “He's gonna make it!”, Eggsy assured him quietly: “He's the sickest guy I know!”

* * *

When they arrived at the headquarters there was a lot of fuss. Harry couldn't really do much except of standing in the way and so he remained in a corner of the room, while his husband was taken care of. As it became clear that they had to remove even more dead tissue of Merlin's legs in order to safe what was left, Eggsy couldn't stand it and got out of the room. Harry stayed during all of it.

Three hours later it was done. Merlin was lying in his bed under white covers that were now strangely flat at the lower third of the bed. Lots of machines and tubes were attached to him and the little beeping sounds reminded Harry every second that his husband's heart was beating, that he was breathing, living.

When the operation was over, Harry had gone to his room and taken a shower before returning in his casual clothes, taking a seat next to Merlin's bed. After a while, Eggsy came in and sat down at the far side of the room. They were both very tired and didn't speak.

* * *

Harry was awoken by a soft notch to his elbow. “Hey, Harry”, he heard Eggsy's voice in his ear: “Guess who's woken up from his beauty sleep?” His eyes shot open and he immediately saw two blue ones, sparkling with happiness as Eggsy's face was very close to his. “Imma leave you two alone then”, the boy said with a wink. He turned around to wink at Merlin as well and give him a little nudge at the shoulder, before leaving the room.

Merlin shook his head. “That boy...”. He remarked in a rough voice that sounded very weak: “He said, now I'm tha real tech guy, with all this stuff here... can ya believe it?” He smiled a bit.

They had already removed the tubes that had helped him breathing but there were still a lot of machines running. Harry smiled as well. It was a big smile of relief. Again, he had tears in his eyes but this time for different reasons. His right hand got hold of Merlin's left one, while the other stroke his face.

“He's right, you know...”, Harry said softly. They looked at each other. They both couldn't believe how lucky they had been.

“I love you”, Merlin said very sincerely and suddenly Harry laughed. He couldn't help himself, he was just so happy.

“I love you too, you... you idiot! I love you so much!”, he said: “What did you think? Sacrificing yourself for us! I thought you were dead! That I had lost you! Oh God! What would I have done without you, Merlin!?” Now he was at the verge of tears again but he pulled himself together quickly. “Can I kiss you?”, he asked: “Or would that be too much at the moment?”

Merlin smiled and with a bit of an effort, he raised his hand so that he got hold of Harry's left forearm. “Ya may kiss me as much as ya want to ya bloody gentleman!”, he stated in an amused tone. Harry didn't need to be told twice. In the next moment, he had gotten up and bowed down, supporting himself on the bed next to Merlin's face and kissed him firmly on the lips. Merlin had raised his hand further to get a grip on Harry's hair and Harry shifted his weight a bit so that he could touch Merlin's neck.

When they separated, Merlin was a little short-winded. “Maybe we should wait a bit, after all...”, he said, trying to catch his breath but he kept hold of Harry's hair, pulling him down once more to bring their foreheads together.

“I love you”, Harry said again and he could hear Merlin chuckle.

“I love ya too”, he responded.

They were silent for a moment. Then, Merlin let go and Harry straightened himself up again. When he saw a flash of pain going over the wizard's face, he remarked in a very dry tone: “Now, shall I be a good husband and get you some morphine?”

He was rewarded with a sly grin. “That would be marvellous!”, Merlin answered.

As a result, Harry wanted to leave the room but stopped abruptly, when he suddenly remembered something “Oh, before I forget,” he said: “I believe this belongs to you.” With these words, he took Merlin's wedding ring off of his finger. The wizard looked a bit surprised as he certainly had not planned at getting that item back. He had a bit of an odd feeling, when Harry placed it in his hand as if this was not something that was supposed to happen. After short consideration, he took it and slowly slid it on his own ring finger.

“Thank ya fer holding onto it”, he responded and after a short pause, he added: “I guess we can wear them openly, now that everyone knows...”

Harry reached into his pocket and got out his own ring. “Suppose you're right”, he agreed before putting it on as well. He smiled at the sight of the little golden band on his own hand. Merlin looked pleased also. “At least now everyone knows that ya're taken”, he remarked: “And they can stop hitting on ya!”

This got a little chuckle from Harry. “Nobody was hitting on me”, he stated, while taking hold of Merlin's hand with his own left one to see how the rings looked together when their fingers were intertwined.

But Merlin disagreed. “People are always hitting on ya. And they'd be idiots if they weren't.”

His voice sounded amused and flattering. Nevertheless, Harry knew that this was a sensitive topic and he assumed that it was so, especially now. He had always loved the attention and more than once overstepped a little, at least in retrospect. If he only could explain to Merlin that he only felt as comfortable with other people since he'd been in the relationship with him. That this relationship was what gave him so much confidence and that had made it completely unimportant to him if other people responded to his slight flirtatious efforts or not.

Instead, he pointed to the ring and stated: “Well, now that'll teach them.” He smiled but Merlin suddenly looked a bit doubtful. Even though it was only the fraction of a second, Harry still noticed. “What's wrong?”, he asked immediately. Merlin looked down on their hands, then up to Harry. Rather quickly, his gaze went down again. Harry waited. He knew better than to push him.

“Things are gonna change now”, Merlin said finally in a very heavy voice: “I'm not... I've lost both my legs...”

The last word was cut short a little and he looked down on the bedsheets. His eyes were very sad and Harry couldn't bear it. With a quick motion, he sat down on the bed to make sure that Merlin had to look at him. Automatically, his right hand shot up to touch his husband's face. “Nothing's going to change, do you hear me? Not between you and me!”, he said vehemently: “Whether you have no legs or two or three or four, nothing will change my feelings towards you! You're the best thing that's ever happened to me! And if you ever think you see me flirting with someone and you get jealous, tell me and I will send them straight to hell, where they belong!”

The intensity of this statement made Merlin laugh and Harry was relieved at the sound. “That's a bit drastic, don't ya think? “, he retorted, looking pleased nonetheless.

Harry returned his smile. “I don't care”, he answered: “In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, that's what I promised and I still mean it. Besides, I suspect, you'll look pretty sexy in a wheelchair.”

Merlin raised his eyebrows at that last part. “Now ya're overselling it!”, he claimed: “There's nothing sexy about a wheelchair!” He sounded almost a bit offended and Harry knew that if he weren't so weak right now, Merlin would have probably tried to nudge him or punish him in another way for this remark. Right now, he could do nothing of that sort.

“There will be if you are sitting in it”, Harry added just because he could and quickly leaned forward to kiss Merlin again, before the other man could object. He could feel Merlin laughing against his lips. It was a bit like the old times when Harry had used any opportunity to shamelessly flirt with Merlin and make him laugh and blush at the extravagant compliments he threw at him. Now the situation was of course a bit more serious, which was especially why Harry didn't care if he made a bit of a fool of himself.

“I don't know what ta say ta this...”, Merlin responded, looking very happy: “Thank ya!”

“You're welcome!”, Harry answered: “As always.”

* * *

In the following two weeks, Merlin recovered quickly. Soon he was rolling around the base in his wheelchair that he himself had modified to suit him a bit more. Eggsy was always at the ready to push him through the corridors. So much so that Merlin got a bit annoyed with him. “Look, kid, I can handle meself!”, he cried one day, when Eggsy jumped up as soon as Merlin started towards the door: “I may have lost me legs but I still have two perfectly good arms!”

Eggsy simply shook his head as if he were a parent and Merlin his stubborn child. “You, sir, 'ave risked your life to save me”, he claimed: “I would haul you to the moon an' back if I 'ad to.”

Merlin's eyebrows lowered significantly and as he spoke, it was in an annoyed tone. “To tha computer-room then!”, he ordered.

Eggsy beamed. “Alright!”, he exclaimed and soon enough he was starting to run, pushing Merlin in front of him. When he was going fast enough, he jumped on the back of the wheelchair, shooting through the corridor so that the other agents had to hurry out of the way.

“Do ya plan on murdering me?”, Merlin shouted but all he could get as an answer from Eggsy was a laugh.

Harry observed all of this with amusement. He knew that Merlin was particularly cross with Eggsy but nevertheless liked having the upbeat, jumpy boy around, especially in times like this when he needed a lot of distraction from the harsh reality. He was still adjusting to his new situation and all the accompanying effects and a little humour and fun was always welcome. To Harry as well.

As soon as he could work again, Merlin started rebuilding the Kingsman agency, calling people, Harry didn't even knew existed and pulling money and resources from all over the world like an actual wizard. Soon, Harry and Eggsy were looking at suitable mansions to install their new headquarters in, while carrying a long list of requirements that Merlin had written down and one or two that Eggsy had snuck in somehow.

With the help of their technology, they were able to locate two Kingsman agents who had survived the explosions and were currently in hospital. They were Percival and to Eggsy's big relief: Roxie. This still meant that they had to fill five more spots to get back to their former strength and most importantly that they had to find a new Arthur. For even though Merlin was doing the job of handling everything right now expertly, he expressed no intention of continuing this longer than necessary. When Harry had made a humorous remark that Merlin wanted to hire someone to be his boss, the wizard had simply said. “Ye're god-damn right!”

Of course they had to repair first, before they could start building again an with three agents who where fresh out or still in hospital there was a lot of work to be done. Soon, Harry became a bit worried, as his husband seemed to be working every waking hour. When he was not at the new headquarters, he was tinkering with some parts that he had had delivered from Poppy's home-base and which looked so complicated they might break if Harry only touched them once.

Harry too had a lot of catching up to do and due to the fact that Merlin was no longer able to train properly with him, he felt, he was progressing slower than usual. Eggsy was doing his best but he did not know him as well and his tips and support were not as good as Merlin's. But Harry didn't want to pull Merlin away from his work just to watch him and make remarks, especially when that would remind him of his own inability to perform any of these moves himself. And in due time, Eggsy would surely get a better knack of everything. The result was, however, that Harry and Merlin spent a lot of time apart.

* * *

It was on one evening, late at night, that Harry suddenly heard a loud crash from Merlin's office. Immediately, he got up and rushed towards it, pulling the door open without knocking. “Merlin?”, he shouted alarmed. Harry didn't have to look far to see what had caused the noise: One of the slimmer bookshelves had fallen over against the desk, spilling all its contents on the floor and onto Merlin who was struggling to get up.

With one hand, he was grabbing the writing desk and with the other, he hauled the chair towards himself. “Wait!”, Harry exclaimed and with three steps, he had reached him, grabbing his torso and hauling him onto the chair.

“I don't need yer help!”, Merlin snapped: “Ya can leave me alone!” He sounded disappointed and tired.

Harry looked around before he picked up the shelf with a bit of effort and put it back against the wall. “Just leave it!”, Merlin ordered but he was ignored again.

“What are you doing?”, Harry asked. With a quick glance over his shoulders he saw that Merlin was tearing with his fingers at something silver, attached to the stumps of his legs: “What is this?”

Merlin shot him an even more furious look. “I told ya to leave me alone!”, he retorted, undoing some straps and metal clips that made quite a bit of noise. Harry continued to put the books back on the shelf. “Will ya leave it!”, Merlin snapped again: “I can do it maself!”

“Of course you can do it yourself!”, Harry sounded a bit annoyed too now: “You can do everything yourself! Don't think I don't know that! You're the most capable, ingenious person I have ever met! Or, as Eggsy would say it: 'the sickest guy I know!' But you are also my husband and that means I'm going to help you whenever I see it fit or I want to, if you like it or not!”

He still had his back to Merlin as he put in more books but he could hear him sigh. “Alright then”, Merlin replied: “But could ya please let me work on my own fer now?”

“What are you working on?”, Harry asked. He had hit a nerve and he knew it. Whatever Merlin was doing, whatever had caused him to fall over, he didn't want to talk about it. But Merlin didn't have to say much either way. When Harry turned around he saw the two prosthetic legs that he had attached to himself and of which he had removed one already.

“They need a bit of tuning”, Merlin explained as if it was totally normal to build yourself a pair of legs in your office: “I've played around with some parts from these robot-dogs that chased ya and remodelled them a bit.” He sounded hesitant, as if he didn't know how Harry would react to this. If he would say some cheesy line like, he didn't need legs for him to be perfect or warn him that messing with this technology could be dangerous. He didn't need to hear any of that!

Instead, Harry sighed. “Will you be coming to bed soon, I'm tired”, he said but Merlin shook his head.

“I'm afraid not”, he answered.

“Alright”, Harry knew that arguing at this point was futile. Despite what he had said earlier, he knew that he had to let Merlin figure this out on his own and help only if he was asked. So he walked towards him and brushed over his head with his fingers, before leaning down and kissing him: “Goodnight then. Try not to wake me later.”

Merlin smiled. “I never wake ya”, he responded.

That wasn't true any more but Harry didn't tell him. He just smiled and left the room.

* * *

A few weeks later, the legs were ready. Merlin had worked exceptionally well and exceptionally hard to make them perfect and they were both very happy with the result. One of the best things was that Merlin had made them the exact perfect height. Harry had been a bit worried, even if he knew it was stupid but he really loved Merlin's height and didn't want it to change in either direction. When he had told Merlin, he had gotten one of his low chuckles and a kiss.

Another great thing was that Harry and Merlin could train together again. With all the tiny forcers and mechanical gaits the legs were significantly heavier than normal prosthetics and you had to be in a good shape to operate them properly. Merlin, who had been sitting in a wheelchair for two months, needed a bit of special training to get used to them but Harry was more than happy to help. He knew that he shouldn't push him to much and let him do most of the stuff himself and preferably alone because even after 30 years, Merlin loathed the thought of Harry seeing him in a vulnerable position.

Nevertheless in the beginning, he spent many hours with him at home, Merlin walking slowly towards him, while Harry observed the movements and told him if something was wrong or simply was there as moral support. When Merlin fell down, he didn't help him, he didn't touch him or even said anything about it, unless the other man waved him over. He simply told him, where it looked like, the problem was. Harry knew that Merlin could have probably figured that out on his own but he was very grateful that he was allowed to be there, even if it was only for a short portion of the time.

When he was finally ready to wear them outside of the house, Merlin was already very confident with the legs. Now other people were allowed to see, as he was sure, he would not fall over or encounter any other severe problems in front of them. Eggsy was totally blown away and immediately challenged Merlin for a race on foot, which he politely declined. Percival and Roxie were there as well. Except for a few burns they had both come out okay. They were all ready for a new start.


End file.
